


Shattered

by perpetualjoy (optijoy)



Category: Gyakuten Saiban | Ace Attorney
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-19
Updated: 2013-08-08
Packaged: 2017-12-20 17:03:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/889716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/optijoy/pseuds/perpetualjoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He knew of things like "boredom" and "happiness" and "want," but they were like fairytales to him. Stories that happened to other people.</p><p>He knew his name was Phoenix Wright. </p><p>He also knew he was not Phoenix Wright at all.</p><p>(Phoenix's misuse of the magatama causes dire consequences, leaving Maya to pick up the pieces.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Loss

**Author's Note:**

> This was written in response to a prompt on the kink meme that asked what happened if Phoenix ignored the magatama's warning and continued on, knowing that his soul could very well shatter?

_Your soul will shatter._

Phoenix grit his teeth and ignored the warning. It was a risk he had to take.

He dug his fingernails into his palm hard enough to draw blood.

The world was black, and the only people in it were Pearls, the kidnapper, and himself. One Psyche Lock left. 

He would press on.

 _Your soul will shatter_. The magatama pulsed against his chest, as if it were desperate to get his attention.

Pearls will die if I abandon this, Phoenix thought. He was more sure of this particular truth than he had been of anything in his life. And he would not allow that to happen.

The kidnapper, held a knife to Pearls' throat. She stood there, her deep eyes pleading with Phoenix. 

"Mr. Nick… please don't."

"Shut up!" the kidnapper screamed. He turned back to Phoenix. "Don't you know who I am?!"

Phoenix thought he did. But it was impossible. Shouldn't this guy, this two-face, be dead? 

Phoenix swallowed. He didn't have the right evidence. He knew this. But what could he do? 

Pearls was going to die.

 _Your soul will shatter_ , the whisper of the magatama seemed more insistent now. It felt scalding hot against his chest, even though two layers of clothes existed between his flesh and the magatama.

He ignored the pain and produced the evidence with a flourish.

He felt himself tear into a million pieces as if he were a sheet of newsprint in the hands of careless child. 

* * *

Matt Engarde, recently escaped from prison, was found dead outside a seedy burger joint, a gun in his hand. His body confused the morgue. None of the coroners could agree on an exact cause of death. 

It was natural, whatever it was. And wholly unnatural.

Maya Fey, in a panic, found Phoenix Wright and Pearl Fey on a bench overlooking a river. Pearl Fey was curled up on the bench, using Phoenix Wright's leg as a pillow.

Maya Fey's heart nearly leapt out of her chest. "Nick!" she cried, circling around to face him, her back to the river.

Her heart crashed when she looked into his eyes.

There was nothing behind them.

* * *

 

Maya sat alone in her room. Pearly had gone to bed, and Nick… no… Phoenix Wright was in a hospital in the city. She couldn't bring herself to call that shell of a man "Nick."

He was physically healthy and could speak and eat. But he seemed to have no emotions and no memories. He was to stay in the hospital overnight to be observed.

If this were a TV show, Maya mused, the Steel Samurai would save us all and Nick would be back.

But it wasn't a TV show. 

She sighed and flopped down on her futon, her arms outstretched. It was almost as if…

Almost as if he had no soul. She sat bolt upright as an idea began to form in her head. 

Perhaps… She got excited then, nearly standing up to bounce around her room. If his _soul_ wasn't on Earth in his body, then maybe it was in the afterlife. And surely she could summon him? She was, after all, the Master of Kurain, and such cases weren't unheard of. Well, they were unheard of outside of legends passed down through the Kurain generations, but that didn't mean they weren't based on truth.

She closed her eyes and concentrated, psychically feeling her way through the spirit world and trying to find Nick. She felt a glimmer somewhere in the vast darkness of the afterlife--one that had Nick written all over it.

But she couldn't channel it. And even if she could, she would lose all sense of herself while Nick walked around probably not even knowing how to get back into his own body.

But it was only a sliver, a tiny piece of Nick's soul. But it was something, and she would retrieve it. 

Somehow.

Her training had not taught her how to bring things back from the spirit world. Channeling, using her body as a vessel, was different than trying to bring something ephemeral back to her physical body.

She concentrated, and she managed to make the inky blackness of the spirit world look like a meadow. It was still the same spirit world, she was just imagining it as something physical. She could feel the piece of Nick's soul, and she made her way toward it. In this physical manifestation of the spirit world, this piece was, of course, his attorney's badge.

Every step closer to the piece of his soul was harder. It was like she was tied to the end of a rubber band that was pulled tighter with every step.

She managed to grasp it right as she was forced back into her body.

Disoriented, she looked around. She was safe in her room.

Slowly, she opened her fingers, and nestled in them was Nick's attorney badge. It glowed softly.

She hurried back to the hospital.

* * *

"Do you know your name?" 

"Phoenix Wright, defense attorney."

"Do you know my name?"

"Mystic Maya Fey, Master of Kurain."

"Do you know where you are?"

"I am in the master's home in the Kurain Village. I live here now, even though you don't need to let me stay. You're very kind."

"Do you know why you're here?"

"You believe you can find more pieces of my soul."

"Do you know who you are?"

"I don't."

Maya squeezed his right hand and rubbed her thumb up and down his hand. She fought back the tears that inevitably tried to bubble their way to the surface. Even though this was her daily ritual (her twice daily or thrice daily or ten times daily ritual), the tears never failed to come. But she refused to cry in front of him, even if the him that sat before her was a shell, an empty husk.

The piece of his soul she returned to him afforded him the luxury of memories, but that was it.

"I'll be back later, so we can take a walk. I brought you some lunch, so please eat it."

"Yes. See you then."

Maya slipped her hands out of his and left him sitting in the corner of his tatami room. 

He preferred (she wanted to say "like," but he had no concept of "like" anymore) to face the wall which was almost as blank as he was. 

She closed the sliding door and finally let the tears flow silently as she walked away. 

Hearing Pearl's light laugh around the corner, Maya quickly wiped away the tears and pasted her signature thousand-watt smile on her face. 

The secret to that smile, of course, was to think about how devastated the people around her would be if she didn't smile. 

"Mystic Maya!" Pearly called. Then her face fell when she noticed the direction Maya was coming from. "Were you visiting Mr. Nick?"

She came face-to-face with Pearly. "Hi Pearly!" Maya said, throwing her arm around her cousin's shoulders. "Do you want to get some lunch?"

"But I was going to cook…"

"Let's take the train to the city and get some burgers! Or whatever you want. We'll make a day of it! Whatever you want."

"Really? What about training?"

Maya winked. "I am the Master of Kurain. Who's going to tell me not to?"

She took Pearly's hand, and they walked off to the train station together.

* * *

 

Phoenix Wright continued to stare at the wall as he ate the boxed lunch the Master of Kurain had brought him. She was very kind to him, but he couldn't reciprocate. He understood the concept of kindness and feelings, but he had neither.

He had knowledge but nothing behind that knowledge. He knew of things like "boredom" and "happiness" and "want," but they were like fairytales to him. Stories that happened to other people.

He knew his name was Phoenix Wright. 

He also knew he was not Phoenix Wright at all.

He had all the memories of Phoenix Wright filed away in his mind, but there were no lingering attachments to them. He saw Maya Fey every day, and intellectually, knew she was important to him. He knew he saved Pearl Fey. He knew Phoenix Wright had people and things he cared about. He knew Phoenix Wright cared about the truth.

None of those things meant anything to him.

The only emotion he had, one that Maya returned to him that day, was a sense of loss that echoed in every corner of his thoughts.

But because he didn't know to yearn, he did not desire to restore what he had lost.


	2. Want

"I'm going to see why your food is taking so long," Maya said, scooting out of the red vinyl booth. Her own hamburger lay untouched in front of her, and it had been like that for about five minutes.

"But Mystic Maya, I'm okay, really!"

"And all you ordered was chicken fingers!" 

Pearl watched her cousin walk away and started to bite her thumb nail. 

It was her fault, wasn't it? That Mr. Nick who wasn't Mr. Nick was sitting in a room by himself and not laughing with them all the time. She pulled up her legs onto the booth and wrapped her arms around her knees. Burying her face in her knees, she started to cry silently.

That terrible night came rushing back to her. She fell asleep. And then she woke up in a dark, dark space that bounced and creaked and roared. A car. It was a car, and she was all tied up, and her wrists and ankles burned and the tears started to flow and she was so scared she almost couldn't breathe. And then the trunk open and she was yanked out of the car and Mr. Nick was there and he wasn't wearing a suit and he started using the magatama and she could just _tell_ he was pushing too much even though she couldn't see the locks that Mr. Nick could and then everything went bright and she woke up again curled up on Mr. Nick's lap and she thought everything was okay.

But it wasn't. It wasn't and it was all her fault wasn't it? She just wanted to fix it. She just wanted to help Mystic Maya.

She just wanted to help somehow.

She just wanted to help. 

And then everything went black again.

As Maya slipped back into the red vinyl booth, her eyes to her side rather than ahead, she said, "Sorry, Pearly. They completely forgot about your chicken fingers…"

"I'm sure Pearl will be fine waiting."

Maya's head snapped up, and she gaped. "S-sis… how did… I thought…"

"Pearl's power is very strong," Mia said. She wiped some stray tears from her eyes. "And she must be very desperate. What's wrong?"

"I just…" Maya swallowed. "It's Nick…"

Mia was tempted to reassure Maya that, with Nick, it was always okay in the end. But that would be a lie this time because she _wasn't_ sure.

"Does it have anything to do with this?" She opened her fingers to reveal a tiny attorney's badge that had the same energy as the one she'd taken from the spirit world.

"But how?" Maya leaned over the table to retrieve the badge from her sister's hand. It felt warm and familiar in her grasp.

"Some time ago, I'm not sure _when_ , this stuck to me. It didn't look like an attorney's badge in the spirit world, but I could tell it was a piece of Nick. I've been carrying it with me ever since. I'm surprised it made the trip here." 

"He doesn't have a soul anymore," Maya said softly, picking at the sesame seeds on her burger.

"It's shattered." Mia sighed. She'd heard of such things when she was an acolyte. Shattered souls were only supposed to be as real as things that go bump in the night--a soul, no matter how broken or battered, would do anything to stay intact. But this was the only scenario that fit, the only reason she would find a piece of Nick and not his whole self.

Maya nodded. "It was his magatama."

"A magatama shouldn't do that."

"I think Nick broke it through sheer stubbornness." A small grin inched across Maya's face before she guiltily swept it away. "He did it to save Pearl."

"Then you have to put the pieces together to save Nick."

"I know that."

"Here, little lady, I'm sorry I forgot, uh…" The waiter was poised to put the chicken fingers in front of a little girl and instead found himself staring down… well…

"Yes thank you. We'll leave a nice tip." Mia flashed one of her winning smiles, complete with closed eyes.

"Yes… ma'am." The waiter scooted away, making sure not to look back. He was _sure_ the chicken fingers had been for a little girl.

Mia turned back to her sister. "What is most important to Nick?"

"The truth?"

"More than that."

"People."

Mia smiled. A genuine, sad smile this time. "I'll go and let Pearl enjoy her chicken."

"Sis, wait!"

Mia's eyes opened wide in surprise. "What is it?"

"I love you. And I miss you."

She leaned over the table and tuck a strand of Maya's hair behind her ear. "I love you, too. I know you can do it."

And then Pearl was back in her place.

Maya clapped her hands and said, "Dig in, Pearly! Your food finally came."

Pearl smiled, too, and started to eat. It must be okay, really okay, now right?

* * *

 

Maya knocked on the wooden part of the sliding door. "Nick? Can I come in."

"Yes." Maya still felt a chill run down her spine every time she heard his voice, even though it had been two weeks since the incident. His voice sounded like an android version of Nick; as if the real Nick had recorded every word in the English language and this empty shell was merely picking and choosing words from that pre-recorded database.

She slid the door open and then closed it behind her. "I found something for you."

She placed the warm piece of his soul into his hands, and he closed his fingers around them.

"Thank you," he said.

"Do you know who you are?" Maya asked, hopefully.

"I still don't think I can answer that question," Phoenix said. "But I think… I want to start working again."

Maya blinked at him.

"You want to?" she asked.

"I'm a lawyer, right?"

"You really _want_ to, or is that just something you're saying?"

Phoenix thought about this for a moment. The expression of "want" had come naturally to him, from a place that seemed sealed off for a while. He still did not feel any gratitude toward this woman whom he was supposed to care about, and his memories still seemed like movies starring someone else.

But he did _want_ something. Not everything, but there was one thing he felt compelled to do. It was strange, suddenly having a feeling that wasn't loss. 

He wanted to work again. He did not want to stay in this room anymore. He felt a need beyond simple hunger and tiredness. He still felt no need to restore any other feelings he used to have, but there was the one.

"Yes. I want to work again."

Maya threw her arms around his neck. It wasn't Nick yet, not completely, but he no longer felt the need to stay in this depressing blank room. He _wanted_ something. And that… that would be enough for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: more characters and also the start of an alternate timeline to the Apollo Justice series.


	3. Ace of Spades

"Well, it's never been cleaner in here," Maya noted as she walked into the Wright and Co. Law Offices.

Phoenix Wright had been back at his job for the past week, most of which would have been spent staring at the wall had Maya not directed him to do tasks like dusting and filing. No actual cases had come in yet.

Two weeks after Phoenix Wright had claimed he wanted to work on cases, Maya found herself losing hope yet again. If no one wanted to hire him (which was just absurd, he was easily the most successful defense attorney in L.A.), she feared he would stagnate. And she had failed to progress further on finding pieces of his soul.

If only Edgeworth would answer his damn phone.

**\--Wright and Co. Law Offices--**

Phoenix scrolled through his address book, reading the names. Each name was a memory, a dry documentary with no light and no color.

Dick Gumshoe. Homicide detective who tended to wear a scruffy coat. Phoenix had originally believed it was due to the fact he was poor, but even after his girlfriend gave him a new coat, it looked new only for about a month before it devolved to its predecessor's former state.

Larry Butz. Spiky hair, bad at keeping girlfriends. Once apprenticed himself to famous children's book author Elise Deauxnim, who turned out to be Maya Fey's mother.

Mia Fey. Phoenix's boss for a brief period of time. Maya Fey's older sister. Murdered by intelligence-gathering expert Redd White after she got too close to the truth. Apparently kept in his phone records for sentiment, something he didn't understand at the moment.

Miles Edgeworth. Childhood friend turned prosecuting attorney who used dirty tricks to win cases until Phoenix beat him anyway. Fond of the color magenta. Or maroon. Always wore a cravat.

Phoenix wondered why the phone insisted on alphabetizing people by their first names rather than their lasts. This was not something that bothered him before.

Maya walked into the law offices and saw Phoenix messing with his cell phone that was so old it still had Snake pre-installed in glorious 2-bit. He lay on the couch, his socked feet hanging over one armrest and his other arm behind his head.

He looked almost normal, what with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his blue jacket thrown almost carelessly over one armrest.

"What are you doing?" Maya asked.

"Looking through my contacts."

Maya did not know what to do with this answer, so she clapped her hands and dragged him into an upright position. She bounced onto the couch and said, "Well, let's get ready Nick! You have a client to see! And he's famous!"

"A client?"

"Well, a potential one. He wants to play poker." She tucked her knees under her and looked at him expectantly. Well, through him. She still had a hard time making direct eye contact, but she could barely contain her excitement when it came to this particular client.

"Maya, I am a defense attorney, not a poker player." If it were Before Nick speaking, he'd have said this sentence with exasperation or dripping with sarcasm. But After Nick was merely stating a fact. Hearing such familiar words in his familiar voice in such a cold, unfamiliar tone caused Maya's skin to crawl and her heart to grow cold; her excitement from minutes before completely dissipated.

"I know, but he's convinced the only person who can defend him in court is someone who can beat him at poker." Maya climbed off the couch and shrugged. "Nothing surprises me anymore."

"Who is it?" Nick asked, swinging his legs over to place them firmly on the floor. He slipped his shoes on, sticking his pointer finger in the back of it to help him ease it on. He then slid his jacket on in one solid, fluid motion.

"A magician named Zak Gramarye. He tours with Troupe Gramarye, the best magicians in the world. Even better than Max Galactica!"

Phoenix nodded and settled in at his desk. He had since stopped staring at walls when he was sitting and waiting for things, mostly because Maya told him it made her uncomfortable. He still didn't understand empathy, but he had the basics of common courtesy down.

"I'm going to go out now," Maya announced, surprising even herself. No, surprising only herself, as Nick couldn't be surprised.

"You aren’t coming? You enjoy meeting famous people."

"He's not… that great. I'm sure he didn't do it, but I have some other things to do. You can take care of everything, right?"

Maya stormed out of the room, suddenly feeling angry at her best friend and herself. He was too cold, too calculating, and he still managed to take a jab at her. And it somehow hurt more than it ever would have if Nick were still here. And she was angry at herself—she’d lately found herself less and less willing to deal with Nick and his robotic self that knew everything but understood nothing. Her patience had grown short.

But that was a ludicrous reaction.

Nick had _saved_ Pearly. The least Maya could do was give him back his life.

But she was so, so scared he was not going to want it back.

Fighting back tears for the _n_ th time, she decided to pay the prosecutor a personal visit. Maybe then he’d acknowledge her.

**\--Prosecutor's Office--**

Maya rapped at the prosecutor's door and then waited a moment. She tapped her foot impatiently; the carpet was so soft that her feet practically sunk into it. She used to think this was the ultimate in luxury and had demanded Nick buy a similar carpet for their law offices.

Now she was just upset that the sound of her foot-tapping was muffled by the plush carpet.

“Just a moment,” Edgeworth’s deep voice came from inside the office.

She heard the lock click and the door scrape open. The door was unnaturally noisy for the office of a highly respected prosecutor.

“Miss Fey,” Edgeworth said, upon seeing her there.

“Mr. Edgeworth!” Maya answered, scraping together her happiest tone of voice.

“I’m sorry I haven’t answered your calls. I’ve just returned from abroad.”

“You always seem to be abroad at the most convenient times,” Maya muttered, before covering her mouth in horror. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

“I heard that Wright is not well. You must be very worried.” Edgeworth moved away from the door. “Please, come in.”

Maya walked in and sat on Edgeworth’s pink couch. She smoothed out her acolyte robes repeatedly, attempting to eliminate every wrinkle in the robe. Edgeworth’s always-immaculate appearance never failed to make her feel under-dressed in comparison. And today, she had a rather personal question to ask.

“So, Miss Fey. What would you like today?”

**\--Detention Center—**

“Are you Phoenix Wright?” asked the tall, dark man in the flamboyant pink (salmon, perhaps?) outfit and top hat. His cape was held closed by a large sapphire brooch carved in the shape of a spade.

“Mr. Gramarye?”

“Yes.”

Phoenix extended his hand. “A pleasure to meet you, Mr. Gramarye.”

“This cell’s not exactly a pleasurable place to stay, but no matter! They can’t convict me.” The magician let out a loud, bellowing laugh that emanated through his whole body. He looked over at Phoenix expectantly. “I guess you’re not much of a humor guy.”

“My assistant Maya Fey told me you want to play poker?”

Seemingly out of nowhere, Zak Gramarye produced a deck of cards. “If you beat me, you get to be my defense attorney.”

“I see.”

Zak Gramarye began to deal the cards.

 


End file.
